Friday, April 16, 2010

Closing a short chapter of a long book

It's really quite a journey to reach this place. Thursday I taught a sample class at my home studio. I first visualized this in 2008, September. That was the first time I really felt like I wanted to teach yoga. Yesterday that dream was filled for me.

Since I first imagined this day - I have had an open loop running in the background, knowing that I would eventually approach this day. I got word that I would teach the class 1 week ago. I traveled Monday and Tuesday this week. During travel I prepared a playlist, I sequenced - I imagined the scene. I fretted. I wondered who would come. I feared the worst - imagined the best. I got all up in my head!

Rolf teachers -- a little background to relate to -- Since December when I finished training I think I felt great to be free of the class narrative. I began experimenting, pulling things in from different styles and teachers. Finding my own personal expression. I was so fortunate to be able to teach at my workplace two days per week. I had a class of eager guinea pigs. They are non-judgmental, eager to learn and incredibly grateful. I am grateful for them.

In preparing for class I zigged and zagged. I zigged on music, zagged on sequence. I felt confused. In the end I went back to the source, back to Rolf's narrative, back to Rolf. I watched his 2.1 class on yogavibes. I soaked it up; saw how he had further refined what he was teaching; heard his reassuring voice. I went back to the well.

Guess what - it was the right thing to do. I got great evaluations! Glowing in some cases! Wonderful thank-yous and assurances from other teachers and students. It was a great day. I felt strong and confident. I commanded the room. I was my true self. Today I spoke to the studio director and she is looking for an opportunity to put me in her teacher rotation.

It's hard to write about this without sounding gloating. But really - I am just acknowledging my own hard work and growth. Even though I have been teaching twice a week since January, I can now say that I am a yoga teacher. I think the arc of my yoga story to date led to this climax - a moment of completion of a goal. A moment that marks a new beginning.

To my fellow Gates teachers -- we are so fortunate to have these days, these teachings, these experiences. The spirits of each of you and the group as a whole were my guidance. Rolf was at my side. What a gift!

Today I taught again at work. I breathed easier, I felt lighter - I slowed down - I took time to think. An open loop had been closed. More clock cycles were available. The Citta Vritti faded and the Purusa peeked through.
Open new chapter. Stay tuned.

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